saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
