I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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