Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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