my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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