My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
