I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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