I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
