dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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