We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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