Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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