Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
