i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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