Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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