I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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