Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
