my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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