You're earring is so big in my mouth
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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