you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There r osticjed everywhere
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
