So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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