I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
