My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
