dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
