omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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