For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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