the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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