Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize