Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
