chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
