So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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