I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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