My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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