The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize