I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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