big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
