We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Farmville is her only friend.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
