he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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