shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Are we still banned from the library?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
