I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
