have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
