If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
