If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
