Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
