I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
