Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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