After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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