i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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