If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
