No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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