are you so shy because you have an std?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
