Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
