you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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