stop calling my apartment porn island.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize