barbara walters just said penis...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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