Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
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Do I have a choice?
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Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
