Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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