Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize