I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
