chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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