I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize