I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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